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Jokes about Americans
It is said that Mohandas Ghandi was asked, "What is your opinion of American civilization?"
His reply: "I think it would be an excellent idea."
His reply: "I think it would be an excellent idea."
__________________________________________________________
The hostess at a British historical site was trying to arrange tours for the visitors, so that they could hear the tour in their respective languages. "Auf Deutsch, hier", she called out, and "Francais ici". As the tourists separated into groups, one man was left in the middle. She walked over to him and asked, "Do you speak English?".
The man responded with a bemused look, "Well, ma'am, I've been in your country three weeks, and I'm not sure anymore, so I'll let you decide. I'm an American."
The man responded with a bemused look, "Well, ma'am, I've been in your country three weeks, and I'm not sure anymore, so I'll let you decide. I'm an American."
__________________________________________________________
Noteworthy dates in 20th-Century American history:
1917 - When World War I began.
1918 - When the U.S. won World War I.
1941 - When World War II began.
1945 - When the U.S. won World War II.
1917 - When World War I began.
1918 - When the U.S. won World War I.
1941 - When World War II began.
1945 - When the U.S. won World War II.
I love America
I love America more than any other country in this world, and, exactly for this reason, I insist on the right to criticize her perpetually.
Funny Girls
Types Of Girls:
HARD DISK GIRL - she remembers everything about you. FOREVER!
RAM GIRL - she forgets about you when she turns around
WINDOW GIRL - all know that she can't do a thing right, but no one can live without her.
SCREENSAVER GIRL - she's good for nothing but at least she's fun
INTERNET GIRL - allways difficult to access
SERVER GIRL - allways busy when you need her
MULTIMEDIA GIRL - she makes terrible things look beautiful
PROCESSOR GIRL - she is always faster and faster.
EMAIL GIRL - from every 10 things she says, 9 are nonsense.
VIRUS GIRL - also known as "wife". She comes when you are not expecting her, installs herself and uses all your resources. If you try to uninstall virus girl you will lose something, but if don't uninstall her - you will lose everything...
HARD DISK GIRL - she remembers everything about you. FOREVER!
RAM GIRL - she forgets about you when she turns around
WINDOW GIRL - all know that she can't do a thing right, but no one can live without her.
SCREENSAVER GIRL - she's good for nothing but at least she's fun
INTERNET GIRL - allways difficult to access
SERVER GIRL - allways busy when you need her
MULTIMEDIA GIRL - she makes terrible things look beautiful
PROCESSOR GIRL - she is always faster and faster.
EMAIL GIRL - from every 10 things she says, 9 are nonsense.
VIRUS GIRL - also known as "wife". She comes when you are not expecting her, installs herself and uses all your resources. If you try to uninstall virus girl you will lose something, but if don't uninstall her - you will lose everything...
Funny Girls
Good girls go straight to heaven. Bad girls go everywhere!
Girls have an unfair advantage over guys: if they don't get smth they want by being smart, they can get it by being dumb.
Girls are like mobile phones: they love to be held, talked to, but if you press the wrong button - you'll be disconnected!
Good girls = bad girls that never get caught.
There are 2 things an average girl wishes: to find the perfect guy and to eat without getting fat.
Be a girl with a mind, a bitch with an attitude and a lady with a class.
Girl's most beautiful outfit is charisma, the prettiest accessory - smile, and the best pair of heels - confidence.
In every girl there is a goddess.
If a girl asks a question, it's better to tell her back the truth. Maybe girl asks you because she already knows the answer!
How to find out a girl's faults? Try to praise a girl to her girlfriends.
Girls have an unfair advantage over guys: if they don't get smth they want by being smart, they can get it by being dumb.
Girls are like mobile phones: they love to be held, talked to, but if you press the wrong button - you'll be disconnected!
Good girls = bad girls that never get caught.
There are 2 things an average girl wishes: to find the perfect guy and to eat without getting fat.
Be a girl with a mind, a bitch with an attitude and a lady with a class.
Girl's most beautiful outfit is charisma, the prettiest accessory - smile, and the best pair of heels - confidence.
In every girl there is a goddess.
If a girl asks a question, it's better to tell her back the truth. Maybe girl asks you because she already knows the answer!
How to find out a girl's faults? Try to praise a girl to her girlfriends.
America Quotes
When you're born you get a ticket to the freak show.
When you're born in America, you get a front row seat.
America Quotes
America is the only country that went from barbarism to decadence without civilization in between.
America Quotes
America... just a nation of two hundred million used car salesmen with all the money we need to buy guns and no qualms about killing anybody else in the world who tries to make us uncomfortable.
America Quotes
America will never be destroyed from the outside.
If we falter and lose our freedoms, it will be because we destroyed ourselves.
Girls
Girls have an unfair advantage over men: If they can’t get what they want by being smart, they can get it by being dumb.
Here Is The Some Y_U_NO Jokes
- REAL LOVE, Y U NO SEEM TO EXIST ANYMORE?
- POWER NAP, Y U NO GIVE ME MORE POWER?
- FACEBOOK FRIENDS, Y U LIVE SO FAR AWAY? Y U NO LIVE NEXT DOOR?
- MARIAH CAREY, Y U NO TOUCH MY BODY, PUT ME ON THE FLOOR, WRESTLE ME AROUND, AND PLAY WITH ME SOME MORE?
- FAT PEOPLE, Y U NO LEAVE SKINNY PEOPLE CLOTHES ALONE? WE NO WANT TO SEE ALL THAT!
- U DON’T KNOW HOW TO PROPERLY USE ‘YOUR, YOU’RE, THEIR, THERE, AND THEY’RE.’ Y U NO GO BACK TO SCHOOL? DUMBASS!
- PERFECT BOYFRIEND, Y U NO EXIST?
- VOLDEMORT, Y U NO USE MAGIC POWERS TO GROW NOSE?
- I LIKE U, Y U NO LIKE ME?
- TIRED OF MEN STARING AT UR CHEST? Y U NO TURN AROUND, WE LIKE ASSES TOO.
- VICTORIA, Y U NO TELL ME SECRET?
- U SAY U SINGLE BY CHOICE, Y U NO REALIZE UR UGLY, U HAVE NO CHOICE?!
- DEAR THOUGHTS, Y U NO LET ME SLEEP?
- CARTOON CHARACTERS Y U NO CHANGE YOUR CLOTHES?
- BANK ACCOUNT, Y U NO HAVE ANY MONEY?
- MONDAY Y U NO FUN FUN FUN LIKE FRIDAY?
- I TEXT U LONG, SWEET TEXT.. U REPLIED BACK WITH ‘K’ =( …Y U NO RESPOND BACK WITH SWEET TEXT TOO?
- ONCE YOU GO BLACK, Y U NO COME BACK?
- LADIES, Y U ASK IF DRESS MAKES YOU LOOK FAT? Y U NO SEE YOUR FAT MAKES U LOOK FAT?
- I BRING YOU TO CANDYSHOP! Y U NO LICK LOLLIPOP?!
Men-Women !
Husbands are really innocent!
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.
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Where is the money?
.
.
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Show me your Pockets
.
.
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I'll not give her the money, She spends all of my salary Booohoooo!
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Give me way... I am going for shopping.
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Thanks Sweetheart...........bye :)
American Joke
What do you call someone who speaks three languages?
"Multilingual".
What do you call someone who speaks two languages?
"Bilingual".
What do you call someone who speaks one language?
"An American".
keep smile :-)
Dont forget to post comment !
Joke !
It is said that Mohandas Ghandi was asked, "What is your opinion of American civilization?"
His reply: "I think it would be an excellent idea."
His reply: "I think it would be an excellent idea."
Dont Forget to comment on post !
Keep smile :)
Keep smile :)
Shit !
There are 3 guys that are stuck on a cliff. God has gave them each one wish, so they can escape the cliff.
But god says that in order for them to get their wish they have to run and jump off the cliff.
So the first guy gets a running start and then jumps and says " I wish i could be an eagle!" He goes flying.
The second guy runs and jumps and wishes to be an airplane, he goes flying. Then finally the last guy goes, he gets a running start and trips," SHIT!"
LAZY COMPUTER GUY !
01. I need to go to collage today
02. I need Pack my bag
03. Tomorrow :)
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